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Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Bonds and Sheffield on Steroids? No F***ing way!...I Think 

I don't know about you, but I've had it up to HERE (hand flailing over head) with all this steroid talk, particularly with regards to Barry Bonds and Gary Sheffield. Who the hell decided to make these two guys, who were both awesome power hitters when they were skinny as rails, the center of the controversy? And why? Because they're not particularly friendly to people who stick pens in their faces? That's just

First of all, if I could, I would STILL put everything I own on a wager that neither Barry nor Gary has ever knowingly done anything illegal to get stronger. At least, nothing that was illegal at the time. I'm not kidding. And what makes me so sure, you ask? Well, I'll tell you: they're not total morons!

So far as I know, only two important players, Jose Canseco and Ken Camminitti, have admitted to illegal streroid use. Both total morons. I mean, if someone asked you to name the two stupidest jerks you ever saw play, those two names would at least enter your mind while you thought about it, right? They definitely don't strike me as guys who would make sure to ask, "This is legal, right?"

Bonds and Sheffield are totally different. They may not be public relations whizzes, but I simply can't find it in myself to imagine either of them taking any regimin of drugs without asking the question, "This is legal, right?" Can you? Think about it. These are two very confident, very paranoid guys. Why would they take such a drastic step?

What really bothers me is the whole "Did they or didn't they!?" attitude of the press, as if it's a simple black and white moral issue. These days, with biochemists working round the clock every day to stay one step ahead of the written law, it's not a simple moral issue. It's a very complicated chemical issue with some kind of foggy moral message blended in there somehow.

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