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Friday, January 09, 2004

I Hate Aurilia, And These Other Guys Too 

Before I begin, a note about hatred in general:

For many of the players that follow, I have a pretty decent reason for my hatred, or at least a bad reason. For the players I hate the most, however, I won't have a reason. Like hatred in all it's other reprehensible manifestations, it's indefensible. Finally, I've never met any of these players, and I'm sure they're all good men that love their mothers.

Alright, let's hate:

Rich Aurilia
See yesterday's post.

Scott Spiezio
Get a friggin' haircut. You're not a rock star. Since, at best, Spiezio is a "utility" infielder (I use the term loosely, because how useful is a "utility" man that plays only one position adequately?), he's almost not enough of a factor to be included. I hate him that much.

Adam Kennedy

David Eckstein
Is this the father/son game?
Any player that plays a position where arm strength is important should have a better one than my sister.

John Mabry
Ordinarily, I like players that don't wear batting gloves. George Brett didn't need them. I also like players who hustle. I just can't help but think that Mabry wouldn't suck so much if he toned it down a notch. Mabry also boasts the lowest talent to spouse attractiveness ratio in the league.

Terrence Long
Called strike three! Season over!
Also, what was up with that face shield?

Armando Benitez

Nick Johnson
Modern-day professional athletes should be in shape.

Juan Gonzalez
Get the lead out.

Frank Thomas (A.K.A. "The Big Skirt")
This is one player that I really should like. I just don't.

Carl Everett
I'll miss that Rangers outfield duo of Carly and Juanita.
Everett was also the target of the second-best heckle I've ever heard, a two-parter (the best being Pete's "You suck, Albert Belle!"):
(during the lull between pitches, with Everett playing center field):
"Get your hand off your knees, Carl!"
(a pitch goes by for a ball, then all is quiet again):
"You're paid way too much to be unprepared!"

Alfonso Soriano
Just because he's often mentioned in the same breath as Bret Boone.

Derek Jeter
A gimme for this list.

David Wells
See Nick Johnson, above.

Jason Giambi
Giambi used to be one of my favorite players, when he was with Oakland. I've always had great respect for the Mariner Killers, like Rafael Palmiero or Garrett Anderson, and Giambi used to be just that. Then came a series of events from which no player could recover. He went to New York. Strike One. He got rid of the trailer-park haircut. Fouled off for Strike Two. He started doing male hair care product commercials. Strike Three.
Oh, and his play has suffered. He went from the best all-around hitter in the American League to being a .250-hitting strikeout machine.
Oh, and every other word out of his mouth was about how great it was to be part of the Wankee legacy. Strikes four through ten.

Manny Ramirez
I'm too sick to play, so I'll go hang out with someone on the Wankees instead.

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