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Friday, February 27, 2004

Credit Where Credit Is Due 

I've been receiving plently of suggestions regarding improvement of the Suck Ass statistic. David at S & B's has even proposed his own "End-All Suckass Factor Calculation". Before this turns into a Flaming Homer - Flaming Moe situation, I think it best if I reveal now, to all sixteen readers of our humble blog, the inspiration of the Suck Ass.

My brother Matt graduated from WSU last May, and in his four years at this fine institution of higher learning, he came to realize that the WSU Cougar men's basketball team did a lot of things over the course of a game that, well, sucked, and weren't reflected to his satisfaction in the stat sheet. So he created the "Suck," which he defined as any play that most scrubs playing ball at the Rec Center would be ashamed to make in front of an audience. Not every negative play was a Suck. A turnover, for example, is not always a Suck. Dribbling into a trap, picking up the ball, then weakly handing it over to the defense and watching them pack it on the other end is at least one Suck, probably two. Missing a dunk doesn't have to be a Suck. Missing a dunk on a breakaway, where it's just you and the rim, and then having the opposition rebound the miss and bust a three at the other end is a Suck. Getting crossed over so bad that you fall down is a Suck.

For a while Matt kept track of all the Cougs' Sucks (which was a LOT). Before too long, having a definitive record of Cougar Suckiness got to be too much for his fragile Coug psyche to handle, and he gave up his record-keeping. The Suck was lost, but not forgotten.

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